"Two
pathetic Italians"
Screenplay
by
Barbara
de Visser
Two
pathetic Italians
©
2014 Barbara de Visser
"
Two pathetic Italians "
FADE IN:
EXT.DIRT ROAD.DAY
Veneziano and Romano are walking along a path. There are fields on both sides of the road. Every now and then they pass a house. It is very hot.
Veneziano
(walks happy but tired)Ve…Ve…Ve
Romano
(walks angry and tired. crosses arms) hmpf
Veneziano
Ve, walking is kinda nice, don't you think brother?
Romano
(angry) Nice? What the hell are you talking about, jerk? How can you call this nice? We are walking for hours now. Why did you let him borrow the car?
Veneziano
(startled) Ve! I thought Germany could drive!
Voice of Germany
Don’t worry, Italy. I have my navigation with me.
Veneziano
Now I think of it. He does rely a bit too much on that machine. (smiling) But don’t you like it? We do not often have the chance to spend time together.
Romano
(stops walking and turns towards Veneziano) No, you idiota! How can walking home be nice? (clenches fist) We have no car. We have to walk to Napoli. (walks on) jerk.
Veneziano
(follows Romano. smiles) Well. But we have nice weather.
They walk on in silence. Romano walks grumpily up front. Now and then he curses in Italian. Veneziano follows Romano, with the occasional Ve.
Veneziano
Ve…Ve…Ve…Ve
Romano
(angry) Stop that, bastardo!
Veneziano
Ve…Ve…Ve…Ve
Romano
I said stop it! (looks at point in the distance) we have no car. we are walking for miles. there are only farms here. (stomach growls) and not a restaurant in sight!
Veneziano
(startled)You mean…There’s no pasta?
After realizing this feat, they start to freak out.
Both
We are going to starve!
Tina walks by. Romano sees her first and recovers himself. He pushes Veneziano out of the way and starts flirting
Romano
Ciao, bella. What is a bella signora like you doing here?
Veneziano
(is recovered himself): Ciao Ciao. (waves at her, behind Romano)Where are you going?
Tina
(blushes): I am on my way home
Romano
Maybe I (stands before Veneziano) can escort you there. I'm Romano, signora...(waits for name)
Tina
(smiles) Oh, My name is Tina
Veneziano
(steps up and stands before Romano): Ve, that is a pretty name.
Romano:
(pushes Veneziano) go away brother. I was talking to her
Veneziano
(half crying) Ve? But I want
to talk to her as well. (turns to Tina) You are really pretty,
signora
Tina
(already walked by): You know, I can handle myself fine. Thank you.
ciao
Both brothers see her leave and disappear. Romano pushes his brother
one more time, before they start walking again. The sun is going down
Veneziano
(tired) Ve...Ve...Ve... I'm tired
Romano
(angry) Ofcourse you're tired, jerk! How do you think I feel? (turns
away) Bastardo.
Veneziano
(falls down on the road): We just have to take a little nap.
Romano
What? On the road?
Romano tries to get Veneziano to get up, but Veneziano struggles.
Another woman walks by.Veneziano is the first who spotted her.
Veneziano suddenly jumps up, makes Romano tumble.
Veneziano
Ciao, bella signora. bella bella, Ve
Marina
(turns around)who, me?
Veneziano
si, you are really pretty.
Romano
(tries to stand up) Oi, you jerk. Don't do that!
Veneziano
I am Veneziano, and this is my big brother, Romano.
Romano
(little bit annoyed, but tries to hide it) Ciao
Marina
(smiles) Ciao. I am Marina
Veneziano
Ve, you are very pretty, Marina. We are really happy to meet someone
as pretty as you
Marina
(blushes) Well thank you. I…
The sound of a car approaching is heard. Prussia drives the heavily
beaten up car of Veneziano.
Prussia
Kesesese! There you are. (turns to backseat) West! Didn’t I tell
you, I could find them? (turning to Veneziano and Romano.
seriously)What are you doing here anyway?
Veneziano
We were (turns around. Marina has disappeared) He, where is she?
Romano
She probably did not want to be in the same neighbourhood as that
potato bastard. (turns to Prussia). We had to walk to Napoli, because
that po…your brother wrecked our car.
Prussia
(knocks on the door) Works fine, by my standards. (smiles. Then turns
serious again) You know you were walking in the opposite direction
right?
Romano and Veneziano
What?!?
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