Rest in Peace dear father

My life suddenly got an abrupt turn, when I lost my father on September 6th.
He was his usual self, sportive, healthy. He did not have any diseases or big physical or mental problems, that could cause death. He was happy in life.
On that Thursday, he wanted to play tennis with my uncle and a friend. He kissed my mother and said he would be home in about a couple of hours. However, it was my uncle who came by. He and his wife, my mothers sister, had to tell my mother that my father tried to reach the ball, fell and did not get up any more. The ambulance, police and fire brigade arrived very soon, but even after 45 minutes trying, they could not get his heart working again.
He had a sudden heart-attack. The first one and the last one.
I was not at home then. Every time I think about it, I feel the chills running down my spine. My uncle, seeing my father dying. My mother, alone, unaware about what had happened. Luckily my brother was at home.
We had a tremendous busy and emotional week. Every time my mother thinks about my father, she bursts into tears. I tried to cry, but somehow I get less emotional. I merely help my mother and my brother. Even though my mother tells me she is fine, I have to keep an eye out.

Right now, I have to think whether I will start my career in the UK, or stay in the Netherlands. I wanted to work in the UK to improve my English and get some extra work experience. But the way things are now, I am thinking to stay at home for a while.