Too much

Not every day

Even though I really enjoy making blogs, it is too much for me. Therefore I want to change my schedule to make one blog post a week. This will be on sunday. I plan to make more cheerful blog posts, with more tutorial bits and maybe more cosplay. 

If you have a nice idea, you can always tell me in the comments below.

Abunai weekend

I was at Abunai this weekend. It was a lot of fun and I enjoyed seeing people again.
I wore my rose dress (other pictures on another date) and actually wanted to wear my Netherlands costume... but I forgot to pack it. Afterwards it was better, because the hot weather was already difficult in this dress.

Even though I brought my camera, I did not make a lot of pictures, but it was a lot of fun to be there.
The picture above was made for the lovely woman in the wheelchair. She was really enthusiastic about the dress and I was flattered.

Are you in cosplay?

Have you been to Abunai as well?

I would love to see the pictures.

Throwback Thursday: A picture from the past

I was 8 or 9 in that picture. I think 8, because the title says 1996 and my birthday is in December. I was looking at these old pictures, mainly to get one with odd clothes. But it is really difficult to choose, since I grew up in the nineties. This one stood out, because I was alone on the picture and not with my younger brother or one of my parents.
I do not even remember that jacket. I remember I wore caps like that (with the flap upside turned) because I thought it would hinder my view.

We are probably on vacation here. But back in the day I was almost always smiling.
And my hair was more shades of red, than nowadays.

What do you think about this picture?

Do you have any pictures from the past you like to share?

Put them in the comments below.

I keep running, running

New personal record

Yesterday I had run my 5 kilometer lapse in 41 minutes. This a new personal record for me. I know a lot of people can run that 5 kilometers within 30 minutes, but I am happy with the result. Before I constantly got stuck on over 48 minutes, because I needed a lot of walking breaks between my periods of running. But I started all over again, when I bought new running shoes and now I can run a nice 2 minutes, with 1 minute walking. I know I can go longer, but I cannot keep those longer periods up for more than 2 times yet.

Doctor Who run

As a fan of the Doctor Who series, I want to propose an idea. In order to be a good Doctor Who companion, you need to run. You need to run at the moment he tells you to and run fast and for a long time. 

The idea is to make a Doctor Who run, where people are split into a team of people portaying the Doctor and companions and a team of possible villains they have to run from. 

The team of villains will start behind the Doctor/companion team and try to outrun them. 

It is still a crude idea, but what do you think? Are there too many run events? Or is this idea already done somewhere? Let me know in the comments.

Favourite podcasts

What is a podcast?

A podcast is a audio visual medium to get your ideas, opinions and other things across.

I like podcasts, because I can listen to them while driving or closing my eyes and in the same time follow a story or learn about ... a lot of things.

My two favourite podcasts are a story driven one and one where I learn from.

Welcome to Night Vale is a story podcast. It is about the town Night Vale, which encounters a lot of weird things. Weird to us, outsiders at least. Aliens, angels, and bloody sacrifices are an everyday thing in Night Vale. And everything is told by the faithful radio host Cecil. What I love about this podcast, is the way absurdity is made normal. Flying people eating aliens? What is so weird about that? Encounter an entire civilisation of tiny people in your bowling ally? It is a news item, but not for long. The writers are original, creative and I always look forward to listen to a new episode.

Myths and Legends podcast is like the name says, about myths and legends from around the world. People have made up fantastical stories during the course of this world. And some are spectacularly weird. I love to listen to these stories, because it gives an insight into the mind of other cultures. The host tells the stories really well and I will borrow several items of the list to incorporate into my comic.

Do you have any podcasts you want to share? 

Give a comment below.

Video: talking about dragons

Dragons

For the ones interested, this was the text I used for this video.

Intro

Hello, my name is Barbara and this is Bongo. As you can see, Bongo is a shoulder dragon and also the subject of today’s video. Because I wondered: Why are dragons so fascinating?

What are dragons?

Dragons are known around the world. They are one of the most well known mythical creatures and widely used in games, television series and movies. To be clear about what I am talking about, I give a short description.

Appearance

Dragons are mythical creatures, usually with scales or feathers. They come in all sizes, but most of them are bigger than humans and they  can spew fire or poison. Dragons can have wings or no tand there are two cultural different types of dragons.

• The European dragon is a dragon with an evil mind. They will attack humans and destroy villages. They are out for loot and food. Even when they can talk, they will resolve tot heir instinct and enourmous strenght. The european dragon is usually scaled and is a quadruplet or sexdruplet. This means they have two legs and two wings or four legs and a seperate set of wings.
• The Oriental dragon is different from the european dragon in that they are considered wise and forces of nature. They do not have wings, but float through the sky with their long, snake-like body and four legs.

Behaviour

Both dragons are strong and have no problem destroying people. Oriental dragons however can be good as well and can provide wisdom or blessings to some special person. They live everywhere, but usually in nature or ruins. European dragons are serious horders and like their loot. Gold, silver, gems and more riches are normally what dragons collect.

Information

So dragons are big beasts, can spew fire and have a magical air about them. But when looking at available information you need to do some serious research. I worked through pages and pages of google results and youtube clips to find some information. I found a wikipedia and a website called Draconian (Here be dragons). The latter being found by accident. The information about dragons ranges from where the dragons come from (culture) why dragons would be real or not to how dragons live and what they eat and look like.

The information available is a lot less than I expected. With all their popularity in series like Game of Thrones, movies like the Hobbit and many many games, I had expected a lot more than two relevant websites.

What makes dragons fascinating?

To me, dragons are fascinating because there is something mystical about them. They are gigantic, but can fly almost without any noise. They can spew fire. They can talk, or at least understand human speach. And they are very intelligent. You cannot fool a dragon like a dog or cat.  Dragons have a relation with dinosaurs, because, let’s be honest. They look a lot like dinosaurs. But they should be alive. And people believe dragons are real. The few youtube clips about dragons are about dragons are real and here is the evidence. Even when dragons are evil, people want them to be real.

Bongo is not enthousiastic, but I am. I do not believe dragons are real, but it would be amazing if they were.

What do you think? Are dragons real? And which version of dragons are real? Let me know in the comments below.

My favorite youtubers

Short story

To make a short blog for today, I am going to tell you about my two favourite youtubers.
Even with 21 hobbies I still watch a lot of youtube videos and the most interesting videos to me are let's plays, tutorials and science driven videos. But these two are the top of the crop for me.

Markiplier                                                       Jacksepticeye

Markiplier and Jacksepticeye are my youtube heroes. They are with me every day and make me laugh.
Next to their enormous enthousiasm I find it really great they also have time for their fans and also do a lot for charity. I cannot imagine how much work, time and energy goes into their work.
Keep it up you two.

Bongo 2: a step by step of how I make a dragon

Bongo the first

This is Bongo the first. I made him out of metal wire, aluminium foil and clay. However, Bongo is a bit sick. His paws have not developed well, his wings are ripped in places and he can hardly stand on his own. 

Therefore I decided to let Bongo retire and make a new Bongo. And I want to share you my step by step process of how I make my new dragon. It is not finished, so I will create several step by step blogs and give a link to the other steps here.

Bongo 2, step 1: The looks

For the very first step you need:

1: paper

2: scissors

3: a pen

4: a template (own made or from the internet)

 
Bongo 2 has to be 1) a dragon, and 2) be able to move his neck and tail. Bongo 1 had a too stiff neck. it was not comfortable for both of us.
Because I wanted to decide the looks and see whether everything was in proportion, I took a template of a dragon from the internet (this template is from a paper folding website, but you can use a fabric pattern or anything you find usefull) and adjusted it to my taste. Because I am not folding the paper, but cutting all the pieces, I allowed my template pieces to overlapp. I also numbered the pieces, so I could find the right pieces together after I cut it out.

 Using photoshop and a 1*1 cm grid, I took some paper (which conveniently also had a 1*1cm grid) and drew the pieces seperately. This allowed me to make adjustments, I could not easily make on the template. Because the template was only for the upper half, I drew the pieces twice. 
The belly en lower neck pieces have the same upper side and length as their template equals. The lower side is the above shape to get the look of overlapping breast plates. I also made some muscles for the arms and legs.

After I cut out all the pieces, I taped them together again. First I taped the upper and lower parts of the template piece, so I would get an oddly shaped ring. Then I taped the rings, only taping the lower pieces and leaving the template pieces apart. 

As you can see, Bongo 2 is looking quite promising. His legs are better proportioned, his wings do not get in the way (because the paper is weak, I taped them together to get them in the air a bit) and he looks like a great, healthy dragon. The template is working out well.

Next time I will make more pictures of the process.

Ode to my celebrity crushes

It started...

When I was little I had a crush on Peter Pan. I wanted to be a mermaid ánd wanted to fly. Looking back, I don't know how I combined those two. But I wanted to fly and be able to breath under water. 

Those days are long gone, but the crushes on people from the screen had developed in a sort of zigzag way. Here I will discuss the major three crushes I had over the years, before I discuss my very first (real life) television crush.

Legolas

Being a Lord of the Rings fan I watched the films a lot. Having read the books, the elves were the most attractive anyway. So when I saw Legolas, I developed a little crush on him. Played by Orlando Bloom, I tried to find information about him, watching all extras on the dvd's when they came out and wrote a lot of fanfiction (I have burned all of it). However, when I discovered he played a character in Pirates of the Caribbean, my crush radically changed. Gone was Legolas.

Captain Jack Sparrow

Orlanda was nothing, compared to Johnny Depp. I think a lot of women will agree Captain Jack Sparrow to be exciting, charming and funny. I had this crush through part 2 and 3 of the movie series, several other Johnny Depp films and a bit longer. But the crush wore off quickly the more I got disappointed with his acting and how he appeared outside the movies. 

Benedict Cumberbatch/ Sherlock

Notice that this is the first crush I call by his own name. I never expected to fall this hard for the Sherlock actor. It was Sherlock who made me notice him and fall for him in the first place. It was Benedict himself I got a crush on. I still consider him to be attractive and if I would become single, his looks and behaviour are what I would be looking for in a man.

While writing this down, I see three different characters with different traits and looks. The only thing that should be in common, is that all three have their own way of being smart or intelligent. Legolas is an elf and should be intelligent as so. Jack Sparrow is savvy. He always finds a way to work things out (even though I disliked the fourth installment and his character progression). Sherlock is really smart, no doubt about that. Benedict Cumberbatch himself is smart as well, therefore the character and the actor sometimes blended together in my mind. I always liked being smart and people who are smart. I love to learn. Therefore it is normal for me to fall for smart characters.

But not with my first crush.

Spike

Anyone remember Buffy the Vampire slayer? If you do, you certainly should remember Spike. I don't know how old I was when I watched the show for the first time, but I loved Spike. He was the most amazing character of the whole show in my mind and he still has a special place in my heart. 

When I watched the show again with my brother (who is a Buffy fan way more than I am) and my mother, I noticed my mother developing a little crush as well. She won't admit it ofcourse, but she certainly liked Spike the most as well.

While Benedict Cumberbatch was my first crush on the real celebrity, Spike was the first real life character I fell for. I have had more crushes, both from the animated world and real life world. I do not consider these crushes to be real love, because I know those people are not like their characters. Characters are not real people at all. They have (if you are lucky) some dimensions in terms of how they view the world, but do not live a real life. A character would not survive the real world, whether it would be the way they live or think. 

Hence, I keep my crushes and think of them fondly, while I live my real life here, with my girlfriend.

What are your crushes? Did you ever meet your crush?

Give a comment down below.

Spooky scary skeletons...What makes me scared

I'm not scared of...

I am not a person for horror or thrillers. Most of the time I find them stupid or boring. And when people try to scare me, they are usually disappointed by the lack of reaction they get. I'm not scared of spiders, or insects, skeletons, mice, or those fake organs they sell at Halloween.
Because I live in the Netherlands, threats like wolves or any big animals are minimal and I am not scared of them either.

But what are you scared of?

Saying I am scared of murderers and rapists is something most people are scared of (or should be). These kind of people are hurting others on purpose. Being scared of something like that, is in my eyes normal. So is falling (and crushing on the ground) from high places. 

The things that make me scared, are influenced by my thoughts. I am scared of disappointing people, hurting people and being useless. 

Disappointing and hurting

Why I am scared of disappointing others, I don't know. It is not really hurting them. It is not necessarily bad. Still it is a daily occurance in my life. What if I disappoint my friend? What if I cannot finish my work and disappoint my boss? What if I do not do what my mother tells me to and disappoint her? These questions influence the way I live, every day. Constantly taking into account how other people would feel, if my words did not hurt them or whether my actions were hurting them in any way. On bad days it even gets as far as me disappointing myself, because I took other people's thoughts before mine. 

It is a thing I have to work on...

Useless

Have you ever felt useless? Ever feel like the world would be the same, or even better, if you would not be there? A tiny voice in the back of your mind that tells you these things. That voice is telling me this almost every day. Some days I don't hear it, some days it is yelling in my ear. I do not want to be useless. I want to help people, make them better. Being useless, is a disappointment to my parents and family (says the voice). Being useless drags my friends into sadness and prevents them to grow (sings the voice). 

I usually try to keep the voice shut. I work hard, I am donating blood, I try to help my family and friends whenever I can.  Thinking positive thoughts helps as well. 

But that does not take the scare away.

Conclusion

Sometimes the biggest scares are the things  you cannot see. Maybe if I would be chased by a lion I would be scared of the lion. However, the chances of that happening are quite small. Hence my biggest scares are.... practically myself.

Are you scared of anything?

Put a comment below and let me know.

The way you make me feel (comfortable)

A new beginning

This is the start of the new beginning of the blog áfter the 30 day challenge. I gathered a lot of new subjects to write about and I can even start to think of subjects myself. 

I will begin with a subject everyone needs to ask themselves: What makes me feel comfortable?

Not because it is an essential life question. It has more to do with situation that makes you feel uncomfortable. 

Uneasy feeling

The world is not always a save place. There are wars, disputes, racism and many more things that make living dangerous, next to hunger and thirst and illness. On top of those massive events, you can feel uneasy because of the living conditions at home, you are bullied or you feel out of place. All these things influences your life and feeling of comfort.

I experience bursts of uneasyness when my depression becomes bigger than my happiness. When a small voice in my head starts to tell me I am stupid and useless. This voice will come up at the most unexpected times and usually I can tell it to shut up... but not always. Then the uneasyness begins. 

Comfort battle

How do I battle this? I have many ways. The things I will write down here are helping me, and if you are experiencing any symptoms of depression please consult a doctor or psychologist first.

• I get more comfortable when I make art. It also makes me help express myself. Drawing, writing, working with clay and more of these ways of expression help me clear my mind.
• Being active, or more active than I usually am works as well. Intense activity for at least 3 times a week can boost your positivity. When I experienced depression for the first time, the psychologist send me to the gym for 3 times a week and I noticed how much it helped me. Now I am trianing for the Bridge to Bridge run in Arnhem, september 11 and run 2 times a week. 
• Writing a letter to yourself can help as well. This letter has to contain all the positive sides of what makes you feel uneasy. I wrote a letter of all my acomplishments and what I am good at. Sometimes I forget I have done things others cannot do. I wrote and published a book, I have my Master of Science degree, I have a job. I can have 21 different hobbies and give attention to all of them in time, while at the same time being able to not forget my family and friends. I can go on for a little while, but maybe it is a nice subject for another blog.

Be your own blanket

When looking for comfort, people tend to look outside first. They search for a person or a favourite item to give them the comfort they need. But I think you should be your own blanket. Find a special place inside of you and create that comfort there. Keep the best memories in mind and think of them in time of need. It cannot always help, but it will comfort you.

30 day blog challenge, day 30: my favorite song

This is my song

For the last day of this challenge, I will tell you why my favourite song is actually my favourite.

Enya- Caribbean Blue

This song makes me happy and relaxed. I can listen to it all day long and not get tired of it. For those who have not heard the song ever, it starts out really soft, like water flowing over pebbles and sand. When the voices start the water has almost reached the shore and waves start to form. The voices are melodic and later on mimics the rhythm of waves on the beach. In and out and in and out of the shore line.  I have never listened to what is said, because I like the sounds and ideas that will flow in my head.

The soothing sound of water can calm me down and the music is beautiful to listen to. Even if you do not like Enya, give this one a try. 

The end of the challenge

And this concludes the blog challenge. In the meantime I have gathered a lot of subjects I can blog about after this day. Hence I will write on. 

If you have any comments, hints or questions, tell me here, or on the media you have found this blog. Thank you for reading.

30 day blog challeng, day 29: What I have learned in the past month

 

Learning is a process

And you can never stop learning, even though others say so. Every day a new piece of information is added to all the information you already have and it increases your understanding of the subject. Whether that subject is a specific thing, the world or even yourself, it does not matter.

I have learned that as long as I schedule ahead (ahem, my apologies for the late blog today by the way) I am able to make a nice blog every day. First it did not seem possible for me, because I sometimes don't have any time or cannot think of a subject to write about. 

I also learned that my life is actually quite entertaining, even though I usually think it is not. Usually it is the reason why I cannot think of a subject to write about. You see all those people with their interesting lives and think "My life is boring. Nothing is happening. Nothing worth mentioning." But when you think about it properly, all the things you tell your family and friends usually are worth some mentioning. I do not say you can say everything here, because you need to stay proper towards others and be cautious about certain subjects. But most everyday items are great subjects to write about.

Another thing I have learned: even though not much people look at your blog, there are still some persons who enjoy it. And they are worth doing these blogs for. I mean it. Thank you all who keep reading this and like it. I sometimes hear friends and get reactions on other media and I would love to have your input in any way. 

Next month I probably learned a lot of other things. These were the main ones of this month. Tomorrow the last one of the 30 day blog challenge. 

What do you think of this challenge? Do you want to do this challenge yourself? 

You can always react in the comments below.  

30 day blog challenge, day 28: a picture from my last year and how I have changed.

Last year

 

People tell me I have changed. I do not know that for sure. Compared to last year I am more secure of who I am and what I can do and I think I have grown in terms of work and communication. This picture shows me when I was my fittest, I imagine. I look thinner at least. Lets hope I can be like that and even go further.  

For the ones who know me and read this blog:

What do you think? Have I changed at all? And if so, what did change?

30 day blog challenge, day 27: why am I doing the 30 day challenge

30 day blog challenge

Everything comes to an end. The challenge as well. While I am thinking about whether or not I keep a daily blog or not, the question arrises: Why are you doing this challenge anyway?

Someone to talk with

Before I started this challenge I was looking on Pinterest for blogging tips and tricks. I wanted to start my blog up again, because I needed someone to talk to. Vlogging was another option for me, but the editing of those videos is too much for me to do every day. Hence, blogging would be better for me to vent my desire to contact others. This desire stems from a certain shyness to contact people myself. 

What to talk about?

One of the most difficult things for me is to find ideas to talk about. Talk about the weather is normal when you have a conversation with someone in real life. But to start that subject every day on your blog? It is not a weather blog. I wanted this blog to be about me. About the things I find interesting. Weather is not something I find incredibly interesting. And while I was looking through pinterest I found this 30 day blog challenge. The questions seemed interesting to write about and I decided to take up this challenge.

I was not disappointed. I enjoy to write to my blog audience every day. Even when some subjects are more difficult to write about than others. I like to continue writing every day, but I think I will be stuck sometimes in what to write. But I will try to continue this for a long time.

30 day blog challenge, day 26: what I think about my friends

My friends are... awesome!

They help me when I need it. They remember me and help me remember what is important in life.

My best friend is Marina, who I am friends with since university. She helped me feel at home away from home and always supported me. That saying, she is also my logical voice when I have some wild idea or concept in mind and together we keep each other grounded. Her husband Tim is nice and I hope they live a long and happy life together.
We do not meet each other much, because we are very busy persons. However, when we visit it is always comfertable and I can tell her everything. I hope she feels the same way. :)

Another good friend who has a special place in my heart is Sander. Long story short (and not too much detail) he is my ex-boyfriend and after the break up we started to become friends again. It took some time and encouragement of our other friends, but now I feel at ease and I am very happy he found Deborah. She is really sweet. You go guys!

Nico is the friend I always looked up to. In terms of intelligence, because I am taller in real life. I like how he thinks and next to Marina he helps me to keep things logical. He also is a real talkative person, which I love about him. Almost everything he says makes sense and I learn a lot from him. Not only in the field of our studies, but also outside those fields. Almost finishing his PhD, I am sure he can overcome everything.

Anouk is one of those friends who always cheers me up. She has a strong mind and looks at the world in a most positive way. Due to fibromyalgie she is tired quickly, but she is always trying to push herself to a next level. You go Anouk! I know you can do it!

Tanya is someone I look up to as well. She has traveled and worked at places I would not even dream to do. She can make me laugh and looks at the world through pink glasses, without losing reality.

Joep is the political leader of the group. Next to Nico, he is the most talkative. I see a great political future for him. Better watch out for him in the news.

Marlies is a friend who I cannot always understand. Maybe it is because I am not religious at all. I try to understand religion and why people belief, even though I do not belief myself. Hopefully I show this a bit and do not offend people with my lack of knowledge.

More

There are a lot of friends I can not describe. We are friends and I like them a lot. However, I cannot think of more than one line for them. I don't know why. Leonie, Corianne, Gina, Sarah, Mathilde, Nienke, Emelie, Bannie, Sharon, Zainab, Floor, Veerle, Kim, Iris, Nicky, Alex, Anne Marie, Eva, Vera, Kirsten, Ralph, Tessa, Imke, Jouke, Maarten and many more.

Further thoughts

My thoughts about my friends are all positive. I do not understand why a person should be friends with someone they do not like, or have negative thoughts about them. I do not mean a critical note. You can always be critical with your friends and talk to them about what happens or what they do. That is why they are friends. But don't be afraid of your own friends.
Be happy with the ones who give you happiness. And share your sorrow with the ones who can carry you.

Update of day 25

As a small update is here a picture of the content of my bag. I knew I took a picture, but could not find it.

I just noticed the colour scheme, I forgot to mention yesterday.

I carry it with me, so I know which colours are suitable for me to wear. I am a fall kind of person, when it comes to colours. I can wear bright warm colours without getting lost in them. 

30 day blog challenge, day 25: What I find in my bag

Rags

Just before I wanted to make a picture of my own hand bag, I noticed something. The handle was almost ripped entirely through. It hangs on a little bit of leather and I am thankful it dit not rip while I was cycling home yesterday. So, the picture above is not really mý bag.

In the bag

I did not realise it before, but the bag is heavy. The content was build up in years of use and me thinking I needed that one thing for the rest of my life with me. I have
- a phone. The phone is old fashioned and slow. But the battery lasts at least 3 days.
- a work phone. I like that phone. It has enough data to let me play Ingress or Pokémon go. When this work ends and I have to give the phone back, I will probably buy a new phone for myself.
- keys. A key for the house, a key for the extra lock on the door, a key for my car, a key for the house in Maastricht. And even more keys I use to get to work. I just realise I have quite the collection.
- drivers license. to get into my car without getting trouble with the police.
- wallet. The wallet does not contain much itself. Some cards, a picture of me and my girlfriend in cosplay and some receipts.
- Lipstick and lipgloss.
- Electrical cigarett. Yes I smoke every now and then. Meaning once a month. I know it is unhealthy, but sometimes I like to have a few puffs.
- phone chargers. Because the phones need to be charged a couple of times a week.
- painkillers, to kill my headaches.

Sometimes I have other things in the bag. Mints, my camera or even my Ipad. The Ipad can fit, but it fills the bag entrirely, so I cannot take it much with me.

Question

I do not have a picture of my bag, but what about you? Do you have the same things in your bag? Or is the content different?

I would like to hear from you. 

Hetalia Netherlands answers your question: crush?

30 day blog challenge, day 24: 3 books on my bookshelf

Thee met problemen, by B.J. de Visser (that's me)

My favorite book I made myself. It is the only book I completed and actually published. I love it, because it took me 5 years to complete and I like reading it at times. It also shows me that I can do things and I have done something most people have not done. It is in Dutch and if you are interested in buying it, you can buy it here for €14,00. I would never become as rich and famous as a certain J.K. Rowling, but I like my book and I hope you give it a change as well.

The wise man's fear, by Patrick Rothfuss

I have this book in both English and Dutch. It is an epic fantasy and the trilogy is not finished yet. 

Nederland van alle tijden, De vaderlandse geschiedenis in jaartallen, by Bas Blokker, Hendrik Spiering and Gijsbert van Es.

I got this book and it is really interesting. It also helps me to get into my character as Netherlands.

It gives the main events per period for the Netherlands. Although it starts a bit early, in the stone age. I took a lot of new information out of this book and I like to read through it for inspiration.

30 day blog challenge, day 23: something I crave a lot

I want this sooooo much

This picture depicts the things I crave the most in terms of food. Chocolate and carbohydrates. Whether it is bread, pasta or rice, I like it a lot. The chocolate is my sweet sorrow, because as you all know: if you want to lose weight, do not eat too much chocolate.
Because of this craving I have trouble to keep to my schedule. I mean, if I craved vegetables and fruits I would not have a problem. But craving the things that actually makes me weigh more is difficult at times.

Hugs

I do not look like it much, but I like hugs. The people who stand near me the most deserve hugs and I like them to hug me. The warm feeling gets me sometimes. However, I cannot hug someone all the time and I do not know when I can hug someone. 

Do not expect me to hug anyone out of nowhere. I need massive hints to show that it is acceptable to even touch someone. This only makes me want to hug more. 

Sorry girlfriend. Next time more cuddles.

Barbara wil afvallen 7-8-2016 (Dutch)

Afvallen (losing weight)

 This is in Dutch. I tell about the difficulty of losing weight, buying running shoes and a dress and how my mood affects how I eat.

30 day blog challenge, day 22: what makes me different from everyone else

Differences

I am a human, a woman, someone's child and a lover.  However, I feel different from everyone else, just like anyone else... which is a weird concept in itself, but I will not go into that. I want to tell you about what makes me different form all others.

Hobbies

I have a ton of hobbies. And I want to do all of them all the time. This is not possible. Really, there are not enough hours in the week to let me work on all of my hobbies in a effective way. I try to name all of my hobbies here:
- drawing
- writing stories
- writing poetry
- sewing
- embroidery
- making jewelry
- sculpting
- writing filmscripts
- making clips
- writing blogs
- making vlogs
- cosplay
- painting
- running
- dancing
- reading
- cooking
- knitting
- making rpg computer games
- keeping an edible garden
- photography
- doing fantasy make-up

I did not include my former sports, like ballroom and latin dancing, judo etc in the hobbies.
But I do have a lot of hobbies that I like to do now and then. As I have said in former blogs, my favourite and continues hobbies are drawing and writing. I always find a way to do some writing or doodling in the corner of a piece of paper.
In my idea this always working on a hobby makes me stand out.

I see I see, what you don't see...

Finding out solutions other people do not see is another thing I do. I like to find an angle to a solution, others don't see or have not thought about. It often helps people to get another perspective and I like to help people that way.

Unique

I think everyone is unique in their own way and have their own specialism, whether it is in terms of knowledge or skill. My grandfather was not the smartest when you would think in terms of general knowledge. However, he was a great artist and always could make things work out. I have a (sort of) high IQ, I've been to University and got my Master of Science degree in the minimum required time. However, don't ask me to fix a washing machine or to change a car light. Everyone is smart in a way. Not always IQ. That makes everyone unique. And I am glad I am one of them.

30 day blog challenge, day 21: a picture of something that makes me happy

Cats and dogs

I am not the only one who gets happy by looking at pictures or clips of cats and dogs. Here are a couple of pictures my cats and the dog of my grandmother.

Figaro just awoke from his nap.

This beauty unfortunately past away last year. His name is Popov, because he was quite the clown.

Juma likes to sleep around the garden.

Nelis (yes that is his name) likes to visit us and the cats.

They were good friends.

30 day blog challenge, day 20: Someone I see myself marrying/being with in the future

Future

Seeing myself getting married is a weird thing for me. Marriage has never been a goal in my life. Not even when I was little.
The future is also a broad thing to think about. I always thought I would be with a man. Up until I was 26 I never even looked at a woman other than being a friend. I could see beauty, yes...but sexy? Maybe. When I met her, it was not love at first sight either. I fell in love with someone else. However, that person did not want me and I began to talk to my now girlfriend (by then just a friend).

Hence, I now see myself marrying/being with her in the future. Even though I would never think that three years ago.

30 day blog challenge, day 19: nicknames I have, why I have them

I called myself after the character of my book (I also made this picture myself)

I do not drink but...

My family just shortens my name into Bar, which is weird if you are a stranger. When I was very young it went even a bit stranger in that my mother started to make the name smaller. I was called Barretje (little bar in Dutch).  I do not even drink alcohol. Before you ask me, I do not like the taste. I have nothing against alcohol or people who like it. I just do not.

Yep that is me, as Netherlands (character from Hetalia, by Himaruya Hidekaz)

Landchan

For the rest, the only one who gives me nicknames, is my girlfriend. And most of them are too personal to put on this page.
One nickname I can name is Landchan. This is because I cosplay a character known as Netherlands. He is the representation of Netherlands in the series Hetalia. I like playing him and dressing up as him. So that is the Land-part of the nick name. Chan is a Japanese term. You call someone chan when:
1. the person is a small child, ie, younger sibling or friends sibling
2. the person is cute, usually younger, usually a girl
3. can be used on pet cats, dogs, etc..

I don't know why she calls me chan, because I am older, do not consider myself cute and I am definitely not a pet. But it is also a specific nickname, for me. I like it.

30 day blog challenge, day 18: plans/dreams/goals I have

Plans

I plan to have a own appartment with my girlfriend. Since my father's death I have been living with my mother and I need to move out. Also, I am old enough to live on my own, don't you think?
The appartment or house does not have to be big, but the ideal would be 3 rooms. One living room, one bedroom and one room to put all our hobbies and stuff in. The reason why we do not have our own appartment yet, is the costs. I cannot pay that much and rely on social housing (not sure what the English term is, but I rely on subsidies to get a place). However, the waiting line for thes kind of housing is big. Especially after municipalities were ordered to provide housing for all refugee immigrants, who fled the wars and came to the Netherlands. I have to wait my turn to get a home.

Dreams

I have many dreams. Leaving the really weird ones out, but I always wanted to have recognition for my book. Also my comic is getting on and I would like it for people to read it. You can find all the information and updates on my other blog.

Goals

It may be cheesy, but my goal is to live a happy life, without hurting the planet too much and with plenty of comfort for me to do what I want. This also means to leave things out, like driving for fun or eating a lot of meat. Those things hurt the environment. Living a happy life also means to pay attention to what I eat and how I look, because when I am overweight, I do not feel well and get complications quickly. All these things have to be taken into account to live comfertably and I am aware of this.

What are your dreams, plans for the future or goals? You can always give a comment below. I would love to read it.

30 day challenge, day 17: someone I want to switch lives with for one day and why

Switch now!

If I had to switch lives for one day, I would not go to the dramatic world of a hungry child in a poor country, or a famous person. If I needed to swithc, I would do this with my girlfriend. Why? you ask. Because I want to understand her better.

To be in my shoes

When I do not understand someone I always try to imagine how it would be to be that person. However, it does not always work and especially when I cannot understand my girlfriend, it frustrates me. When she is depressed (and I mean really depressed, not an exaggeration) I cannot help her, because I do not know what to do. And every time I think I know, it is not correct and I feel I make it worse.

On the other hand, if she would be in my shoes, it would her at the same time to understand me better. Even though I had one of the easiest lives someone can imagine (enough money, understanding and loving family and friends, education etc) I also have my struggles and insecurities. I have been depressed as well and sometimes still fight with the negative thoughts of that time. 

Low high

Another thing that I want to understand is how the world is to her from her height. She is not that tall, especially compared to me. I am tall for a Dutch woman, not even speaking of women in general. Where she has trouble reaching things, I sometimes have to bend my back or duck out of the way for beams, chandeliers and stuff. 

I think it would be interesting to see things from another point of view. Both in body and perspective.

30 day blog challenge, day16: another picture of myself

Pictures

I do not have that many pictures of myself I think. I am not a selfie person. Sometimes I think I should take more pictures, because it can improve my self esteem. However, I am also aware of all my flawws and this create a devaluation of my self esteem.

A classy picture for business

Teasing friends with our new rings (relationship rings)

Cosplay pictures

What I do not mind is taking pictures when I am in cosplay. I love to pose with my costume.

The reason of that, I think, is because it is not me you are taking a picture of. It is my character. I gladly be in a picture, or even a movie clip when I am someone else. I have many clips of me in cosplay. But when I try to do a vlog, I feel akward and stupid. I hope I get over my akwardness 

Posing to show my finished costume.