Spooky scary skeletons...What makes me scared

I'm not scared of...

I am not a person for horror or thrillers. Most of the time I find them stupid or boring. And when people try to scare me, they are usually disappointed by the lack of reaction they get. I'm not scared of spiders, or insects, skeletons, mice, or those fake organs they sell at Halloween.
Because I live in the Netherlands, threats like wolves or any big animals are minimal and I am not scared of them either.

But what are you scared of?

Saying I am scared of murderers and rapists is something most people are scared of (or should be). These kind of people are hurting others on purpose. Being scared of something like that, is in my eyes normal. So is falling (and crushing on the ground) from high places. 

The things that make me scared, are influenced by my thoughts. I am scared of disappointing people, hurting people and being useless. 

Disappointing and hurting

Why I am scared of disappointing others, I don't know. It is not really hurting them. It is not necessarily bad. Still it is a daily occurance in my life. What if I disappoint my friend? What if I cannot finish my work and disappoint my boss? What if I do not do what my mother tells me to and disappoint her? These questions influence the way I live, every day. Constantly taking into account how other people would feel, if my words did not hurt them or whether my actions were hurting them in any way. On bad days it even gets as far as me disappointing myself, because I took other people's thoughts before mine. 

It is a thing I have to work on...

Useless

Have you ever felt useless? Ever feel like the world would be the same, or even better, if you would not be there? A tiny voice in the back of your mind that tells you these things. That voice is telling me this almost every day. Some days I don't hear it, some days it is yelling in my ear. I do not want to be useless. I want to help people, make them better. Being useless, is a disappointment to my parents and family (says the voice). Being useless drags my friends into sadness and prevents them to grow (sings the voice). 

I usually try to keep the voice shut. I work hard, I am donating blood, I try to help my family and friends whenever I can.  Thinking positive thoughts helps as well. 

But that does not take the scare away.

Conclusion

Sometimes the biggest scares are the things  you cannot see. Maybe if I would be chased by a lion I would be scared of the lion. However, the chances of that happening are quite small. Hence my biggest scares are.... practically myself.

Are you scared of anything?

Put a comment below and let me know.